having fun is cool: it's partie time
just a few weeks of ha ha he he before things get SERIOUS around here
dear friend, from my life I write to you in your life,
the last months are blurrrred into a series of exams and learnings about hormones, hemoglobin, and hemolysis. and the next 2-3 years are shaping up to be the same as I start this master’s in public health. so for now, for the month of may, we party. and by that I mean I have time to see people and do laundry and make a lovely meal and try to stop myself from buying perfumes (I recently bought a perfume that smells like a warm light bulb. chemistry is soooo crazy). so without further ado, please enjoy my latest missive.
goops and goos
so maybe a month ago, I ruined my skin, and I do mean ruined. I was casually taking doxycycline because I was having some breakouts (and maybe you already know this, but you shouldn’t casually take antibiotics), plus I was using tretinoin at night and mandelic acid in the morning. and then: I got a red-light mask. my red light mask claims to “target wrinkles and acne for visibly smoother, clearer skin in just 3 minutes. It features a combination of up to 100 lights that can emit red or blue wavelengths to help boost collagen, fight acne, improve skin density, smooth wrinkles, and diminish dark spots for a younger-looking complexion” sounds sooooo good. and on top of that, I had some FSA funds to use up, there was a sale. thus, I was cooked. also all of my friends love their red light masks, and I classically did very little research (one of my worst traits!!) the red light mask arrives, I both do not remember to clean it the first 3 times I use it, plus I accidentally stopped the antibiotic mid-course. all of this led to a week of 30+ new pimples a day. I look like a third-grader tried to draw freckles on my cheeks — a dam mess!
so was it the mask causing me to purge as a reddit rabbit hole confirmed WAS possible? was it it my acne screaming to the surface of my skin because I accidentally stopped taking the antibiotic? was it just my own bacteria spreading by simply not cleaning the mask? who can never be sure!
I spent a week covered in pimple patches, stopped the mandelic, re-started doxy, and started cleaning the mask, and doubled down on my mask usage every day. and now? things are looking pretty good and pretty clear. I still have some of the dark marks from the million pimples, but based on how severe the breakout was, in the immortal words larry david, I’m now looking pretttty pretty pretty pretty good.
in conclusion: can I give you a definitive review on the mask? no, because it’s been a month and not 6 weeks, but I will report back in my next newsletter and let you know if I think it’s worth it. but for now, I will continue to wear it for three minutes a day while I make coffee and enjoy feeling like a james turrell astronaut.
watching
I’m being forced to wait to watch the new season of the rehearsal, because my boo only wants to watch one show at a time (he has a level of self-restraint many dream of), but we’re finally watching the last season righteous gemstones. each episode reminds me how much I love judy gemstone and her ability to scream right into my heart.
and as a balm to the soul, I’m back on my veep shit. you can’t keep me away from my girl julia louis dreyfus (another gorgeous screaming woman), and you can’t make me stop loving such lines as "that's like trying to use a croissant as a f**king dildo: it doesn’t do the job and it makes a fucking mess,” and "what is wrong with you, you paddington bear-looking f**k?"
reading
I finally finished lies and sorcery by elsa morante and tG because I have been reading that 800-page book for more than one year. but now, it is done, and I fully understand elena ferrante’s gorgeous inspo for the most important series: my brilliant friend. so, this is huge for me. I recommend to anyone that likes in-depth family Italian dramas spanning generations.
I also am halfway done with audition by katie kitamura — I went to her reading at the philadelphia library and had the time of my life. have you ever been to a literary event where EVERY single question was actually a question and a good question at that? never in my life. I put it down to katie kitamura being a casual genius who can write casually genius sentences inspiring genius in others. the whole thing about this book is that its structure rocks — but I will not spoil, you just have to pick it up.
I also have been deeply enjoying on the calculation of volume I by solvej balle — if you’ve ever felt like every day is exactly the same, this book could be for you. it’s like if groundhog day was a little bit spare and poetic. also it is a 7-book series, 5 of which have been published in danish, and 2 of which have been translated into english, so blessings to me for the next many years of breaking down time in this long series. ty michelle for this rec.
song
mostly I’ve been listening to this playlist that I made for studying with no words. additionally, I have done a small amount of adding to my insane workout playlist. but other than that, it’s just pony by ginuwine on repeat as part of a party triptych: in da club, pink pony club, pony, as decided by hersh and jodi.
if you have any nice things for me to blast, I’m taking suggestions.
meme dream
poem draft
I haven’t written anything in a hot second, but here is a little old revised draft for you.
bonus fun
the concept of the month, nay year, is: try, try again. it’s a perfect cliche for a reason. if you make a classic bread recipe in your repertoire and instead of coming out fluffy and perfect, it comes out flat and hard, make it again. don’t get discouraged!! maybe the oven was too cold, maybe the yeast was too old. figure out the variable that went wrong, and do it AGAIN (there is dough rising in my oven right as I write this).
if you think all hope is lost, it isn’t. this is what I’m really repeating to myself in the deep, dark depths of the state of the world (which is famously and absolutely terrible). trying my best to keep a PMA (see below)
much, much love,
xoxo
elena
p.s. in additional news, when asked for the grad program orientation what my most embarrassing moment was, I wanted to respond “every day I am alive I am embarrassed by all that is or will be,” but I held my tongue and said, “too many to name,” and that’s how you know I will be the clown of the cohort.
Love this and you!